Well readers, after my big ol’ brag about how Lucy and I totally mastered this whole nursing business, it turns out…not so much. The first evening we did it a few days ago it was wonderful, but every time since then has gotten progressively more and more painful. I’ve been consulting books and websites trying to refresh my memory about positioning, latch, and all that good stuff, but I just can’t figure out how to fix things.
Before, the problem was that Lucy either wouldn’t latch, or else would latch on and promptly fall asleep and not drink anything. Now she’s latching on and drinking, but in a way that is somehow excruciating for me. Her positioning looks like what they show in the photos, so I have no idea how to keep her from attacking me with her bitey little gums (if that’s what’s happening…I honestly don’t even know). She also is very fidgety when she’s eating sometimes, and tends to abruptly tug her head backward or side to side while still latched on. When she’s drinking from a bottle I don’t really mind and it’s actually kind of funny/cute, but when she’s nursing…well, not so funny. It’s also hard to take the time to get the right latch because when Lucy gets hungry, she gets ravenous and needs her four ounces of milk RIGHT NOW, and will wail and writhe until she gets it.
As a result — and I know this is a taboo thing to say — I’m not finding nursing enjoyable at all. I know I’m “supposed” to feel like I’m bonding with Lucy but it’s hard to feel that way when really what I’m thinking is “OH MY GOD OUCH!!! LET GO OF MY BOOB!!!” I’ve felt much more snuggly and lovey with her when I’m giving her a bottle and she’s gazing up at me with her big blue eyes.
Now I’m really torn on what to do. On the one hand, if I could figure out how to make nursing more comfortable and pleasant, I’d like to be able to do it at least part of the time. So I will probably meet with a lactation consultant again. But on the other hand, I had come to a point where I was really comfortable with the way we were doing things. Of course I don’t love pumping — it’s inconvenient and I’d rather be snuggling Lucy than snuggling up to a machine — but it’s also pain-free and allows me to measure exactly how much Lucy is eating, which I like.
To be continued…
Don’t give up! This is totally normal and will pass. The pain is AWFUL, but it goes after about 10-16 days and then it’s fabulous. I don’t know why books make you feel like you’re doing it wrong, it sounds like you’re doing it perfectly but nipples aren’t used to vigorous sucking, especially from a hungry baby so they need time to toughen up. I promise it’ll be worth it if you keep going. You’re doing a great job!